It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
