Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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