just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize