Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
