Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
