You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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