i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Edward fifth and chaser hands
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
