i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
