she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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