Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
