Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
