Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
