So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
