So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
