people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
