you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
