4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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