My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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