his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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