i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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