Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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