hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
