Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
