sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
