Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
