Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
