Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
