@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We left the knife in your bed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
