Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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