You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
