i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
