guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he fucked my hip out of place.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Randomize
