omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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