May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
