Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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