Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
