he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
