He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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