i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize