Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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