Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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