I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
