bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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