I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
