That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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