Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
