and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
