i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
