There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
