I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
