Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
