Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
