If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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