you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize