One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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