We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
