I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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