meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The Olympian is in my bed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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