Jerry, you need to find god
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
