Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
