that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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