4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
