I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
